129 - attention men

about a year ago, i made a resolution that i'd go out on at least one date with any guy who asked me, as long as i wasn't morally/ethically opposed to him...and okay, yes, i had to be at least semi-attracted to the guy. i told some of my friends about this resolution, and they were more than happy to assist in setting me up/pimping me out (call it what you will). let's just say that the majority of these dates ended as mild to moderate disasters, but at least they provided me with some great stories.

my beautiful friend xtina is currently celebrating her one year anniversary of being single, and today she posted a blog about the things she's learned over the past year. as i was helping her brainstorm about this post last week, i was inspired to come up with my own list...so today i present to you:

callie's top 10 things a man should NEVER do on a date
1. if you get pulled over by a cop, don't be a jerk...especially if it's just because your tags are expired. also, it's not smart to tell the cop you've been drinking, because then he'll force you into a field sobriety test (even though you're not drunk), and you'll be even more embarrassed. plus, your date will contemplate getting out of the car and walking the short distance back to her apartment.
2. if you're meeting a girl somewhere, do not park at the far end of the lot to avoid getting your car doors dinged. this makes you look super-douchey.
3. if you suggest going for drinks at a sports bar, for god's sake, please make sure you know something about sports!!!
4. if you pick a girl up for a first date and plan on driving her in your car, please do not turn off the radio. this leads to very awkward silence and doesn't put the girl at ease at all.
5. do not tell a girl she is perfect/amazing/wonderful and that you can't wait to introduce her to your family if you do not mean it. it's not nice! if you just want to try to sleep with her, at least be honest about it.
6. if you ask a girl if she wants you to walk her to her door and she says no, that means she has no desire to kiss you. don't make yourself look silly by trying to kiss her over the car console anyway.
7. similarly, if a girl does the patented "duck-and-run" move when you attempt to hug or kiss her, she is not interested and you shouldn't assume she is. (anyone not sure what the "duck-and-run" move is - let me know and i will demonstrate. i'm a pro.)
8. if you don't feel that a date is going well, you probably don't want to assume that you'll be going on a second date. and you also probably should avoid suggesting that the second date include an overnight roadtrip to a sporting event that the girl already told you she's not interested in attending.
9. blazer + white crewneck t-shirt + jeans + fake tan = NO!!
10. do not ever, under any circumstances, text a girl from the parking lot after your date is over. yes, communication is a huge key to relationships, but if she hasn't had time to get into her house/apartment (or drive away if you met somewhere), it's too soon to say you had a good time! you probably just said that at the end of the date, and to reiterate it again so soon is creepalicious.

a few months ago, xtina posted the following quote on my facebook wall, courtesy of miss carrie bradshaw - and i think it pretty much says it all:

"being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. now it means you're pretty sexy, and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."