since this topic was ever so popular last time, let me share these random facebook-related questions from yahoo answers that i just found:subject: In Facebook, what exactly is the Hotties for Sale app?
body of question: (none)cal's answer: it's clearly what the title indicates - hotties for sale on facebook. it's an escort service or a hooker service...whichever you prefer. ARE YOU SERIOUS? hot people aren't for sale on facebook. if this is what you're looking for, i suggest you go to your local strip club or street corner and see if you get lucky. (ooh, double entendre - you love it! though i'm sure the person who posted this question wouldn't get it.)subject: When is a good time to Poke her...
body of question: on facebook? I met this girl this past weekend, and we hit it off pretty well, however stupid me forgot to get her information. I found her on facebook and was wondering should I friend her and then poke her? Should I go out with her on a date or two before poking her?. If I poke her and not friend her will she get the idea I just wanted to poke her? God I didn't think poking someone was going to be this hard. Is there any poking rules btw? Like no poke backs?
cal's answer: AAAH! NEVER POKE! first of all, you should have just asked for her number originally if you liked her. grow a pair. second of all, if you need to friend her on facebook, then do so...but do not poke! i don't care how many dates you go on - it will always be annoying. unless you're referring to poking as an analogy for sex, in which case, you need to stop that immediately or risk remaining an unwilling virgin forever.subject: Why is facebook suggesting I add my ex girlfriend as a friend?
body of question: I think this is completely bizarre... For the friend suggestion thing on facebook. It wants me to add my super serious ex girlfriend... Funny thing is that we have 0 friends in common, never have been friends on facebook, not in the same network, we live 700 miles from each other... why is it suggesting her at all? is it cause iv typed her name on facebook and shes typed mine?cal's answer: well, this answer is obvious. it's because clearly the facebook gods have decided that the two of you need to be together after all. obviously. look, there was a reason ya'll broke up to begin with, so i suggest you remember that reason before you actually consider adding her as a friend on facebook. my gut instinct is that it had something to do with you having 0 friends in common, not being in the same network, and/or living 700 miles away from each other? just a guess. if you broke up on good terms, go ahead. if not (or if you've had no contact with her for years), she's just going to think you're creepy and can't get over her. trust an expert.in other news, mini-me attempted to teach me how to defriend people on facebook recently, but my computer wouldn't let me do it. it's like my computer said, "cal, please be nice to these people. i know they annoy you with their poking and constant status updates and twitter feeds, but they don't have friends and spend the majority of their time at home alone on the computer. stop judging." however, yesterday i found a different way to defriend people, so i said goodbye to three of my least favorite facebook "friends". they were really just random semi-acquaintences from high school i'd added so as not to appear rude, but let's face it. i haven't seen you since high school (7 years ago), and i highly doubt we'll be running into each other anytime soon. i'll probably make some more cuts this week, and then i'll love facebook a whole lot more!
there was a time a couple of years ago when a dear friend and i were bored on a saturday afternoon. this is when she introduced me to yahoo answers. basically, this is a place where anyone can log on and ask perfect strangers any question they desire. there are categories from health and travel to relationships and cars. some people actually log in and provide helpful answers...this is not what i choose to do. i prefer to read the questions, laugh out loud, and answer them silently in my head - usually with a big spoonful of tough love. today i decided to share some recently-posted questions, along with the answers i would post if i actually cared about these people enough to do so. i hadn't looked at this website in a long time, then my little fruititarian had me look at a question on yahoo answers last week, and all the memories came flooding back. thus, the idea for this post was born. obviously the family and relationship category is my very favorite, so that's where all these tidbits came from. oh, and i'm not changing spelling or grammar, because that's part of the fun.question headline: I have to give away one of my dogs. Which dog should i give away?
body of question: I'm so sad right now. I am forced to give away one of my dog cuz our family cant take care of two anymore. One of the dog is 4 years old and my first dog!(it was so cute wen it was a puppy :(.. and the other dog is 3 years old and a son of the first dog i had. The first dog is a mom and the second one is a son. Which one should i give away? its so sad.... The mom, i cant give away since shes my frist dog and very fond of her. The son, i cant give away since it follows me everwhere and is afraid of ppl :( what should i do?cal's answer: first of all, if your family couldn't take care of two dogs, why did they allow the original dog to procreate? that's what neutering is for. second of all, here's my advice. stand in your living room. put a large dog bone on the other side of the room. release both dogs into the room. the one that goes for the bone is the one you give away. the one that goes for you loves you more. if they both go for the bone, you're probably a bad dog-owner. give them both away.question headline: Do u think my gf is going to break up with me?
body of question: My gf went to camp for 2 weeks and before our last words to each other were i love u. But her friend said for me to keep off her. Is my gf going to break up with me? She said we have a date when she gets back. My gf said that we are going to be together still next year. We are both 15 and 9 months. But also two days before she left for camp i was getting clingy like calling her 4 times a day. And i asked her if she is going to miss me and she said i don't know so i asked her again and she still said i don't know. Do u think she is going to break up with me?cal's answer: well, i'm not sure, but i think you're asking if your girlfriend is going to break up with you. my general opinion is that if you have to ask this question, you probably already know the answer. yes, you were being too clingy, but then again, you're 15 (and 9 months!) so that's probably typical. chances are, she's gonna break up with you, and you'll find an equally clingy girl to call 4 times a day. oh, and even though she said you're still going to be together next year, i'm sorry to be the one to break this to you - girls lie too.question headline: Did I make a mistake in this truth or dare game? girls only!
body of question: I played truth or dare friday and got a weird dare to fart on a guy's head...there were 3 hot guys and this one guy that was (not to be mean) sorta ugly...so i chose the ugly guy!! My friends say i should have picked the hot guy because the ugly guy has probably been farted on a million times...did i choose the wrong guy?cal's answer: um, who are your friends and why do they insist on farting on people? what happened to the good old days of coed truth or dare where the dares were always to make out with someone? stop farting on people. that's gross.question headline: I don't know whether to break up with my boyfriend or not!
body of question: I do not know whether to break-up with my boyfriend or not. We are both 14, and we have been going out now for 7 months. I logged into his myspace profile (just out of curiosity, since he had freely given me his password previously) and I noticed that he had a chat box still up from the day before - from a conversation with his best girl friend. They had both been making fun of me and he said things about me like that I'm not sexy, and that I piss him off, etc. I confronted him about it over MSN, but he denied it all. What should i do? I still really like him, but I don't want to be made fun of behind my back. I would really appreciate help from anyone, because I don't want to end the relationship, but at this point I don't see what else I can do? The problem is, I hate being single!cal's answer: okay, although i am morally opposed to logging into a significant other's online profile/e-mail or reading their online chat conversations, you saw what you saw. how is it possible for him to deny it? he's talking shit about you with his best female friend, so break up with him. it's only 7 months of your life. get over it. and i'm still laughing at the fact that you "hate being single" at age 14. i could give you some good advice about self-confidence/loving yourself before you get into a relationship, but really i'm crying from laughter over here. someone help - i need a tissue.question headline: How do I get my sister to dress more like Carmen Electra or Paris Hilton?body of question: I love her very much and I am a good brother. I want her to attract a lot of guys.cal's answer: stop whoring out your sister. what's next? trying to get her to give $2 BJs on the side of the road? asking her to film a sex tape? if she's a nice person, she'll attract guys on her own. you sound like an incestuous creepy, creepy boy.question headline: I really like to give this girl a romantic present to remember me by...which is better: running shoes or a watch?body of question: (none)cal's answer: if running shoes and watches are what you consider to be romantic presents, she's more than likely not interested anyway. save your money.
