intro: so there's this guy i know, and if you read his blog that i'm about to link to, you'll see his real name. however, in the interest of keeping with the nickname theme and because he's in the coast guard, for my blogging purposes, i'm gonna call him coastie.coastie and i dated for a hot second (like, 3 months) during my senior year of college, and we split up amicably. we're still friends, and we still talk occasionally. i think both of us would prefer to talk more often, but hey, we're busy people with crazy lives, and it's not always easy to stay in touch. no big deal.anyway, coastie made a lenten goal for himself, which he outlines in his blog here. in case you don't feel like reading his rambling, here's a quick summary: basically, he is sending facebook messages to new people every day. on the first day of lent, he sent a message to one person. on the second day of lent, he wrote to two people. you get the point. essentially at the end of lent, he'll have contacted over 1,000 people. i got my message on day #10 (the day he designated for reaching out to his 10 ex-girlfriends), and i replied back, giving him hell in the nicest possible way.here's the thing. i think it's a great goal, and it's an interesting lenten resolution. and yes, i told him this. however, when you tell someone, "i just thought i'd reach out and say hi...to you and 1,000 of my other facebook friends", it doesn't really make that person feel special. now, maybe if you haven't spoken to that person in years, it'd be kind of cool to get a message like that...but when you're reaching out to friends (especially friends with whom you always break plans - ahem), it just seems impersonal and kind of like an easy way out. it's like, instead of actually reaching out with a real, personal message, he can just copy and paste essentially the same text to 1,000 different people.when i called him out on it, coastie said that he was trying to be a better friend by keeping in touch with people. i told him that when i graduated, i realized that there were a lot of people in my life who i didn't want to lose touch with, and i made a conscious effort to keep them in my life. my theory is that i'd rather have 50 good, solid friends that i can rely on, as opposed to having 1000 acquaintences. maybe i'm being cynical about coastie's goal, but then again, maybe he and i just have different ways of showing people that we care.to reiterate (since coastie always says i'm overly mean to him), i do think this could be a cool thing to do. i just think that maybe he shouldn't TELL people what he's doing. for example: i got an e-mail one day from one of my old middle school friends that just said, "hey cal, i'm trying to do better at staying in touch, and you were a really great friend to me back in the day. i miss our pool parties and trampoline dares a lot. what's going on with you?" and when i got that e-mail, i felt awesome! in retrospect, maybe this old friend of mine was doing something similar to what coastie is doing...but since he didn't say that, i just felt like he was reminiscing about old times and thought of me. who doesn't like that?feel free to share your thoughts...as well as your lenton sacrifices/goals! as for me, i didn't give anything up or resolve to do anything specific. i would have failed miserably at giving up drinking (hello birthdays, bachelorette parties, weddings, and whose cruel idea was it to have st. patrick's day fall during lent?!), cursing, or chocolate. i know when i'm setting myself up for failure, and i'm not having it. i'll just try to be a nicer person all year instead, and i will always keep in touch with my friends...you don't have to worry about that, my loves.
since this topic was ever so popular last time, let me share these random facebook-related questions from yahoo answers that i just found:subject: In Facebook, what exactly is the Hotties for Sale app?
body of question: (none)cal's answer: it's clearly what the title indicates - hotties for sale on facebook. it's an escort service or a hooker service...whichever you prefer. ARE YOU SERIOUS? hot people aren't for sale on facebook. if this is what you're looking for, i suggest you go to your local strip club or street corner and see if you get lucky. (ooh, double entendre - you love it! though i'm sure the person who posted this question wouldn't get it.)subject: When is a good time to Poke her...
body of question: on facebook? I met this girl this past weekend, and we hit it off pretty well, however stupid me forgot to get her information. I found her on facebook and was wondering should I friend her and then poke her? Should I go out with her on a date or two before poking her?. If I poke her and not friend her will she get the idea I just wanted to poke her? God I didn't think poking someone was going to be this hard. Is there any poking rules btw? Like no poke backs?
cal's answer: AAAH! NEVER POKE! first of all, you should have just asked for her number originally if you liked her. grow a pair. second of all, if you need to friend her on facebook, then do so...but do not poke! i don't care how many dates you go on - it will always be annoying. unless you're referring to poking as an analogy for sex, in which case, you need to stop that immediately or risk remaining an unwilling virgin forever.subject: Why is facebook suggesting I add my ex girlfriend as a friend?
body of question: I think this is completely bizarre... For the friend suggestion thing on facebook. It wants me to add my super serious ex girlfriend... Funny thing is that we have 0 friends in common, never have been friends on facebook, not in the same network, we live 700 miles from each other... why is it suggesting her at all? is it cause iv typed her name on facebook and shes typed mine?cal's answer: well, this answer is obvious. it's because clearly the facebook gods have decided that the two of you need to be together after all. obviously. look, there was a reason ya'll broke up to begin with, so i suggest you remember that reason before you actually consider adding her as a friend on facebook. my gut instinct is that it had something to do with you having 0 friends in common, not being in the same network, and/or living 700 miles away from each other? just a guess. if you broke up on good terms, go ahead. if not (or if you've had no contact with her for years), she's just going to think you're creepy and can't get over her. trust an expert.in other news, mini-me attempted to teach me how to defriend people on facebook recently, but my computer wouldn't let me do it. it's like my computer said, "cal, please be nice to these people. i know they annoy you with their poking and constant status updates and twitter feeds, but they don't have friends and spend the majority of their time at home alone on the computer. stop judging." however, yesterday i found a different way to defriend people, so i said goodbye to three of my least favorite facebook "friends". they were really just random semi-acquaintences from high school i'd added so as not to appear rude, but let's face it. i haven't seen you since high school (7 years ago), and i highly doubt we'll be running into each other anytime soon. i'll probably make some more cuts this week, and then i'll love facebook a whole lot more!
back in college, my lovely friend aj-dub once said something along the lines of, "does your school have facebook?" well, no, at that time, it did not...because facebook was something that only big college campuses had, and our little school with 3000 students was not on the list. the day we got facebook was one of the craziest days my e-mail inbox had ever seen. i was pounded with friend request after friend request and wall post after wall post. and this was obviously WAY before facebook opened itself to the public, after which things got even more ridiculous. now, i do love facebook, i promise. it has provided countless hours of entertainment for my friends and me over the years, and picture comments may be among my favorite things in the world.however, you should all know by now that it takes a lot to make me mad...but i actually get annoyed fairly easily. thus...want me to defriend you on facebook? do these things:1. constantly update your facebook status with meaningless stuff. let me assure you that i do not care if you just watched the hills finale, the VMAs, or an ANTM marathon. nor do i care if you are SOOOOO mad that the united states soccer team/cleveland cavaliers/any other team just lost a game. get over it. you don't need to put that on facebook. now, if you are actually doing something fun or interesting, or if you can make your status amusing, please update away. but not every 2 minutes, because i will defriend you immediately.2. take your profile picture in a mirror or with a webcam. you look creepy. who are you trying to impress with that picture? the 14 year olds you're hitting on in chatrooms? (do chatrooms even still exist? sidenote: anyone remember teenchat from back in the late 90s? good times, good times.) i am barely excusing people who take normal pictures of themselves by extending a camera in front of their faces, so prove that you have friends and have them take a picture of you. PLEASE.3. download every possible application known to man. the worst day in the existence of facebook was when they started letting outside companies provide "applications" to users. if i go to your profile, i probably just want to read your info, check out your pictures, and probably leave you a cute/witty/thoughtful message on your wall. i really don't need to see that you petted your cyber-kitten, watered your cyber-plant, and took a test that says you are most like cinderella out of all the disney princesses. the only one i kind of like is the top friends application, but only if i'm on your top friends - otherwise, i don't like this one either. go out and buy a real kitten, a real plant, and meet a real prince if you want to be a princess so damn badly. also, meet me and add me to your top friends. i'm awesome - promise!4. invite me to all kinds of stupid events. no, i don't want to go to bike night at quaker steak and lube. know your audience. also, if i haven't seen you in 4 years, i'm probably not going to come to your birthday party, a gig your band is playing, or a fundraiser your church is doing - just an fyi. and m-howie, if i've told you once, i've told you a hundred times (literally), no! i do not want to go watch you coach a soccer game for a group of random 10 year olds! one more invite, and consider yourself defriended.5. poke me. i have had facebook for about 5 years now, and i still don't know what a poke means. if you want to say hi, then say hi. if you want to flirt, then flirt. if you poke me, i'm not quite sure what you want, and i'm not a fan of ambiguity in my life.6. sync your facebook account with your twitter page. i am on facebook, not on twitter. if i wanted to visit your twitter page, i would. chances are, you're one of the people who constantly updates your status with dumb things i don't care about, so i don't want to read your twitter. enjoy facebook for what it is, and post a link to your twitter if you must...but please don't force me to read your twitter updates on my homepage. yes, i'm apathetic, but honestly i just don't care.okay, this just got me all worked up. if i could access facebook at work, i would totally go through and defriend a bunch of people right now! and yes, i can sneak onto facebook via my blackberry, but for some reason, my blackberry is encouraging me to be nice and doesn't give me the "remove friend" option. gosh.a quick hint regarding tomorrow's entry: yahoo! (inspired by my little fruititarian)
