45 - the decision

for the past several months, i've been trying to make a big decision about my life - whether i want to be here or move somewhere else. i've been stressing, making pro/con lists, traveling to the city i wanted to move to, and essentially driving all of my friends crazy.

i'm sure you're thinking, "cal, seriously? why would you give up your oh-so-glamorous life in ohio with those supposedly super-amazingly-awesome friends you occasionally talk about?" well, the fact is that i'm kind of sick of ohio, given that i've lived here my entire life...and let's be real for a second, it's not as glamorous as one would think, although i promise you my friends truly are super-amazingly-awesome.

and god bless my best friend aj-dub, as she's been the main person in my life who's had to listen to me debate this decision repeatedly. i figured she was my best target, as she went straight to southern texas (i'm talking, like, basically mexico) to work for teach for america after graduating college. if there was anyone to encourage a leap of faith, it would be her. fortunately, i was right, but after months of listening to me go back and forth, evidently even aj-dub reached her limit. one day last week, i e-mailed her with a little rant about how this decision was stressing me out and listing the things i love about life here and the things i'd love about my life in the other city. i was surprised not to hear back from her, as she is also usually kind of bored at work this summer. (and she sometimes reads this blog too, so hi, aj-dub - you shouldn't be surprised that you've achieved this level of fame. this is what you get for being my bff for approximately 15 years...well, this and a special place in heaven for putting up with me longer than anyone outside of my family.)

she said, "cal. honestly? just draw a city out of a hat and let that make your decision for you. there will be things you miss out on if you move away, and there will be things you miss out on if you stay here. whether you stay or you go, you need to make the most of your decision."

well, shoot...i never thought of it that way. sometimes it helps to have someone over-simplify your life for you to put things into perspective. she made me set a deadline for my decision, and she held me to it.

so, as of monday (unless anything drastically changes), i'm currently planning to stay here for at least one more year. it's not that i can't handle moving to a new city basically alone (be serious, who wouldn't be my friend?) or that i'm scared of the challenges that come with it. it's more that i love my life here, and i love the people who are in my life. if i could scoop them all up and move them with me, i would totally do that - but i'm pretty sure that's called kidnapping and is frowned upon by the police. considering i'd like to keep my criminal record clean, i figured i'd rule that option out. there are other factors that played into my decision, to be sure, but i'm content with it right now. it's not like my favorite city is going to disappear, and if i want to move there someday, i totally can.

but here's what i learned this summer:

at the end of the day, i can be happy anywhere. it's more about the mindset you have than about who or what surrounds you. i could dwell on the little things i'll miss by not moving away, but instead, i'm choosing to make the most out of the life i have and be happy about the decision i've made.

just a heads-up, though: i might need you to remind me of this next january when i'm whining about the snow and asking why i didn't move south after all.