49 - goodbye, my love!

on friday, i was happily heading to my friend's beautiful downtown condo (8th floor with a perfect view of some of the coolest buildings in our skyline), when i got a text from my beautiful best friend, mk. mk was on vacation in hilton head, so i assumed her text would have something to do with bragging about being at the beach/drinking with her family/how amazing her brother's new girlfriend is. unfortunately, i was about to be broken-hearted as mk passed along some news from her brother.

mk: tk says your future husband is getting traded! i'm so sorry!

for those who are unaware, i have been sufficiently obsessed with atlanta braves' right fielder jeff francoeur (a.k.a. "frenchy") ever since he was in the braves' minor league system. i mean, see for yourself - he is adorable. you really can't blame me.

so yes, maybe once or twice i had a lovely little dream that i moved to atlanta, we met, fell madly in love, and he divorced his wife (i mean, it's his high school sweetheart and we all know those never last, right?) to marry me instead. i made the mistake of sharing this dream with a couple of my friends, who started calling jeff my future husband. it's all in fun - though the guys i date tend not to appreciate this too much. oh well. let's face it - if this dream ever came true, i would ditch almost any guy for frenchy. it's just a fact. i mean, who wouldn't love a guy who's manly enough to pose for a picture with his best friend (braves' all-star catcher brian mccann) and their matching puppies?

now, i really am a true baseball fan - i'm not just a girl who likes baseball because there are hot guys wearing tight pants. this may have been the reason why i started watching baseball back when i was a boy-crazy 9 year old, but over the years, i've developed a true love for the game. i freak out and get goosebumps over suicide squeezes, runners stealing home, and outfielders throwing out runners trying to score. (okay, fine. i'll be honest - as a boy-crazy 25 year old, i still appreciate the hot guys in tight pants...but there's much more to my love of the game now! i promise!)

since i am a real fan of the game, i can admit that jeff francoeur has not performed well for the past year and a half. it didn't stop me from liking him (i'm an extremely supportive fan/future wife, obviously), but in the past month or so, it's become obvious to me that the braves were planning to trade him. as a lifelong braves fan, i had a gut-check moment and realized that a fresh start might be best for frenchy in the long run, so i had come to terms with the fact that a trade was inevitable. i figured i would have another david justice situation on my hands.

(side story: i loved david justice with everything my 13 year old heart had in me, back in 1997. i guess i just have a thing for cute right fielders. when he got traded from the braves to the cleveland indians, i cried - and yes, i'm talking about real, legitimate tears. then i split my baseball loyalty between the braves and the indians, so i could cheer for my favorite team but still maintain my loyalty to my favorite player. it worked out just fine, especially since the two teams never played each other back then.)

(this was back when DJ was voted one of people's most beautiful people. who wouldn't love that?)

so, i was all prepared to have two teams competing for my devoted fan-ship - the braves and whoever jeff francoeur played for. then i heard he had been traded to the mets. WAIT! are you kidding me?! THE METS?! another nl east team?! I HATE THE METS! i have spent the last 15 years of my life despising everything about the mets. i don't like to wish bad things on anyone, but if jose reyes took a ball to the face, i wouldn't mind. if johan santana broke his pitching arm or tore every ligament in his shoulder, i wouldn't care. the mets front office even strengthened my hatred for them this off-season. i like to think omar minaya (the mets' GM) had this conversation with team manager jerry manuel:

omar: there's this fan down in ohio who really, really hates us. i mean, she doesn't even like david wright. everyone likes wright.
jerry: interesting. i wonder if there's anything we can do to make her hate us more.
omar: well, i hear gary sheffield is available. this girl REALLY hates sheffield. she thinks he might be satan incarnate.
jerry: think we should sign him? he has a reputation for being a clubhouse cancer, and i hear he only likes to play on winning ball clubs. considering we already suck and/or will implode in september if we happen to have a winning record, it might not be the best fit.
omar: yeah, but it'd really make that ohio braves fan steam. let's get him.
jerry: whatever you say, boss.

(see?! he IS evil!)

so yes, i hate the mets. i mean, i really REALLY do. so here's my compromise for mr. francoeur:

i will cheer for jeff francoeur to have multi-hit games every day for the rest of the season. i hope he ends up batting .275 with 20 home runs and 100 runs batted in. i'll even cheer for him when he plays the braves, because i want them to see first-hand what they're missing. but i will NEVER cheer for the mets. i hope johan santana goes winless after the all-star break and that k-rod blows every possible save. i hope carlos delgado needs a hip replacement and that jose reyes's leg stays hurt. however, if frenchy wants to bat .300 for the rest of the season, i'll be with him all the way.

but i'm definitely not moving to new york.